Some say that friends always stay with you. Some say that friends can always be replaced. But does anyone really understand the connection that friends can have. Sometimes nothing changes when they move apart and then again no matter how close you were before you were separated physically, everything between you can change. How can something like moving half way across the country not change things between two people? Can a long distance relationship work of any kind or are we doomed to fall apart? Will I lose the most amazing friend I have had since I moved here 8 years ago? Will I end up losing the only boy I have ever loved because he is going to graduate this year? Is my whole life going to fall apart all over again or am I strong enough this time to stay together? Gymnastics is no longer a source of releasing all of my stress. After last high school season, gymnastics just makes me feel worse. I have no way of escaping this pain that is piling up on top of me this past year. I’m going to break down if I don’t find a release. Why does everything have to go so well, and then fall apart just when I start to believe I could actually be happy again? My mom is going to make me go to practice and I’m just going to feel even worse when I’m there. I can’t just go on with life like nothing happened because that would be a lie. I may not be able to go to Vegas with the high school girls next year because I may be helping Mikaela move and that was like the only part of high school season last year that I was fully able to enjoy even with being injured. At least then I got to still be with the girls instead of off in a corner away from the family that is the high school team. I feel like because of being injured last season, I missed out on having a closer relationship with all the girls on the team and missed out on being friends with the girls. I know I’m friends with the girls from high school season, but I feel like I’m not. I still feel like an outsider with all the girls and now I’m going to lose the people who kept me going through being an outsider at gymnastics. Josh and Jenn are graduating and Mikaela is moving.
I’m going to fall apart and I don’t even know how to stop it at this point…